Aurora Borealis

To note your birthday yesterday (a far more significant occasion than Earth Day) I made my annual contribution to the OU library acquisitions fund in your memory.  I miss you, roomie.

We spent a couple of hours at the festival hosted by the local preservation trust at the park up the street.  We had a fresh squeezed lemonade and brought a bag of kettle corn home.  We snacked on it (and Agent Murphy decided he likes it) and then took a late nap.  So the Agent will get to stay up a little late tonight, which is fine because we’re going to church in the evening tomorrow for Miss L.’s Confirmation rather than the morning.  Perhaps we’ll finish the kettle corn while watching some Matlock or something tonight.

It’s a nice little festival.  The carnival rides don’t interest us or Agent Murphy at this point, but maybe someday.  And they had a nice selection of craft/boutique vendors.  We brought home some local honeys and barbecue sauces.  And we got one of the souvenir posters, which is cute and whimsical and I think will go well in the kids’ bathroom, which could use some sprucing up.

Agent Murphy got to sit on the front of a fire truck (of course our camera battery turned up dead when we got there) and we took him to the little petting zoo they had.  He pet a boa constrictor, some ponies, some goats, a sheep, and a rabbit.   We also saw a large brown tortoise that seemed really interested in finding a way out of the fenced area.  There was a llama being anti-social and a little pig that was busy eating, with its head hidden.  Agent Murphy seemed like he really wanted to pet the little ducklings but he couldn’t reach them in the pen they were in.  One of the workers tried to catch and hold one for him, but they were having none of it.  I think the Agent enjoyed it, though he seemed a little overwhelmed by the number of people in that really small area.  We’ll have to look for other petting zoo opportunities, maybe on off-peak days that might be a little more conducive for him.

On the way to the car we ran into someone I went to school with at Oglethorpe.  She was with her husband and 5 kids, and they live pretty close by; so we’ll have to try to look them up.

Agent Murphy’s eyes check out just great right now.  No sign of cataracts or retinitis pigmentosa.  Vision normal.  Unfortunately, there doesn’t come a time when we can really rule out RP.  We just watch and wait.  Mr. Tldz’s RP really showed up sometime in high school.  So we’ll see.  The Agent’s next checkup is in 2 years.

Doc wants to see Garbanzo Bean within the first month.

We were supposed to host play group, but only the play group coordinator and her son were going to be able to come.  So we decided we’d meet up at the local playground this morning instead.  Agent Murphy had a blast.  He loved going on the slides.  He went on the little kid slides some, but he decided he likes the bigger, curvy ones better.  After he did the slides for a while, he humored me and let me push him on the swing for a bit.  He seemed to like it, but he really wanted to get off and go back to the slides.

Then this afternoon there was supposed to be a MOMS Club ice cream social at our local Maggie Moo’s.  Hadn’t heard of the place before, but it was pretty good.  We didn’t, however, see anyone else we could identify as part of the MOMS Club; so it was less social and more ice cream.  The Agent enjoyed his strawberry cone with rainbow sprinkles.  He got to use the “dripstick” we got him at the Mayfield Dairy last summer and he did pretty well with it.  He was still a mess, but that’s the fun of it.  Maggie Moo’s is giving out free samples of ice cream pizza on Thursday afternoon/evening, so we may need to make a family trip of it for dessert.

We had a rather relaxed, lazy day for most of the day yesterday and then we got ready to have the B. family over for dinner.  It was a lovely evening, but unfortunately we had to cut it a little bit short because Mr. Tldz had to lead a call for work at 2:45 this morning, which was only scheduled a couple of days ago.

So anyway, given that weird morning schedule (and the fact that I’ve just been zonked out lately), we ended up sleeping in some this morning.  Then we had a nice, big breakfast and decided we go to Mass tonight so we could head up to the Northeast Georgia History Center this afternoon for family day: The Blue and the Gray, featuring some Civil War re-enactors and activities.  We got to make a pretend bullet and Agent Murphy did a pretty good job filling the shell (with sand, not gunpowder).  Apparently they do a family day of some sort the second Sunday of every month.  Mr. Tldz isn’t sure how he came across this one, but now we’ll have to keep an eye on their website for future events.  We stopped at a McDonald’s on the way home for a late lunch and to make use of some about-to-expire coupons.  The Agent seemed equally pleased by his shares of chocolate and strawberry milkshakes.  Got home just in time to get dressed and head out to church.  Came home and had a late dinner and put Agent Murphy to bed a bit late.

Next weekend looks like it will shape up to be a rather busy one, too.  We have a babysitter lined up for Friday night and will actually get to have a rare grown up night out — an early celebration of Mr. Tldz’s birthday.  The plan is to try out a local Indian restaurant for dinner and then head to Oglethorpe for the spring Singers  concert.

Then the local preservation trust is hosting a festival/crafts show at our neighborhood park and it’s supposed to feature a petting zoo on Saturday and Sunday afternoons.  So I think we’ll have to check that out.  It looks like it will have to be on Saturday, because Sunday afternoon the Knights are having a Fish Fry appreciation barbecue for Knights and their wives.  We’ve been planning to go to that (who can argue with free barbecue!), and now the timing will be a little complicated because we’ve just learned that Miss L.’s Confirmation Mass at IHM is scheduled to start an hour and a half after the start of the barbecue.  Hmm.

I think I’ve been trying to live in denial that this baby is really coming.  But really the end of July isn’t that far away and there’s a lot to be done to get ready, so I need to kick it in gear!

We’ve been wondering whether my mom would come/whether we should have her come or whatever around this birth.  It was very stressful when she was here for Agent Murphy’s birth.  She did some very helpful things to be sure — got us to and from the hospital, brought food for Mr. Tldz and some extra snacks for me while we were at the hospital, took care of the dog, did the grocery shopping since I wasn’t driving for a little while.  But overall it was tough having her here.  All she really wanted to do was hold the baby.  So finally Mr. Tldz and I gave up and just let her do that while we kept the household running — meals, laundry, etc.  There were times when the Agent’s feeding rolled around that I’d practically have to fight her to give him to me.  And it got to the point that he’d get fussy because he was missing us since he wasn’t seeing much of Mommy or Daddy.  Mr. Tldz has a clear memory of right after my mom left, as he was running around doing three things at once on very little sleep, that he thought, “Wow, this is so much easier now.”

Anyway, our relationship with my mom has been pretty strained.  So we weren’t sure what to do about this birth.  We know her presence would be stressful.  But would not having her come for the birth make things even more strained?  And this time, there’s Agent Murphy.  So maybe taking care of him would be a well-defined task she’d be willing and happy to do.  But on the other hand…  But on the other hand….  So what should we do?

Well, I called my mom yesterday to wish her happy Easter.  She was in the middle of dinner.  She said she’d call me back, and she called this afternoon.  After the initial Easter pleasantries, she launched into, “This is very hard for me, but I need to say this.”  Oh, dear God, what now?

She said that Agent Murphy seems happy, but she thinks he’s just “going through the motions.”  She says we don’t let him express himself.  That we’ve turned him into a “good soldier” and make him “toe the line.”  She worries that she hasn’t seen him cry (excepting in infancy) and she figures it’s because there’s no point to his crying, like when he falls down, because nobody comforts him.  What?!?  She’s right, often he does fall down and just get back up and go on.  Well, kids fall a lot and some of the time it doesn’t hurt them.  Sometimes he falls or whatever and does get upset and he gets a hug and some loving up from me or Mr. Tldz  — for about 30 seconds until he decides he can’t be bothered with that stuff anymore because he has playing to do.  And there were other things that have happened when she’s been with us that she related back to me with a layer of her fictional interpretation on them.  I don’t know if she’s intentionally making things up or if she’s deluding herself.

Anyway, she said she’s so very unhappy when she’s here.  And that these things have been bothering her so much that she had to go talk to a therapist about all of it.  Apparently the therapist told her that when people aren’t allowed to express themselves, their feelings turn to anger.  But because society doesn’t accept anger, that anger becomes depression.  So she’s worried that Agent Murphy will become depressed because of the way we’re raising him.

Yeah, well, I think this answers the question.  She won’t be coming for this birth.  Even if she wanted to (which I’m not sure she does since she’s so unhappy here), we won’t be able to handle the stress of her presence during that time.  Of course, that reality comes with some logistical challenges and stresses of its own.  But we’ll figure out some way to cover the things she helped with last time.  Heck, we can just board the dog and hire somebody to go to the grocery store for us.  I guess we’ll patch together help from our friends to get us to and from the hospital, take care of the Agent while we’re there…  We should have some meals coming from both the MOMS Club and St. Monica’s Circle at church.

Let the planning begin!

I don’t think I ever closed the loop on this…  Fortunately, Aetna came around pretty quickly after being bombarded with a blizzard of documentation from our therapist and are continuing to cover the Agent’s sessions.  (Interestingly, when I called to find out a response, the rep I spoke with seemed very surprised by my question and said there was no question in the file — it was marked “no reauthorization necessary” or something like that.  She did note that some claims (the ones that had been denied) had been reprocessed.  She said, “Well let’s see the date on the ‘no reauthorization needed’ note….  Hmm.  There’s no date.  They alway date these entries.”  A little CYA, anyone?)

So he’s using the little loaner talking machine, mostly at therapy and a little bit at home.  We have his communications book of pictures at home and we’re using it more and more as we figure out how to incorporate it into our routine.  He’s plenty willing to also use signs in therapy, and even vocalize in therapy a little more.  His therapist thinks it may be because he feels less pressure now that he has a ‘plan B’ so he’s willing to try vocalizing.

At home, he’s saying “no” a lot more clearly.  (Figures, right?)  And he says “up” – sort of.  If I’m sitting at the table or wherever and he wants me to get him something, he’ll point up in the air and say “Uuh.”  And he’ll tell us that a dinosaur says, “Arrrr!”  So this is at least some progress, though of course we’d like to see more.

On Saturday afternoon we went to an Easter Egg Hunt block party hosted by our across the street neighbors.  Agent Murphy had a blast and we got to meet some more of our neighbors, including the folks who live right next door to us.  Mr. Tldz had met the dad in passing, and we’d both seen the son out playing.  The dad had said there was a wife, but we never saw anyone else.  Well, it turns out their son has an older sister (who babysits!) and a younger sister.  Who knew!  And the wife does exist. 

Then the Agent took a little nap (so did we!), we had a quick dinner, and went to the Easter Vigil Mass.  All Saints does the abbreviated version — only 2 hours instead of 3 –  because they don’t do the full complement of readings and psalm responses.  They also cheat and start the vigil at 7:00 p.m., though it really isn’t supposed to start until dark has fallen (like 9:00 p.m.).  I guess it’s because we have 3 octagenarian priests in residence, including the retired archbishop.  In any case, it made it more doable for us to attend.  (Last year the Agent only made it through half the vigil Mass at IHM.)  He was really very good, and he got lots of compliments on his shirt and tie.  And then we stopped by the reception afterwards and he got some chocolate cake.

At the reception, we met another of our neighbors.  I’d seen her name and address on the MOMS Club roster (she lives on the cul-de-sac street that runs directly up from our driveway) and then I’d seen one of their son’s names on the PSR poster at church.  I kept thinking that we really need to meet them.  Well, she came into full communion with the church on Saturday night, so we were hopeful that they’d be at the reception.  They were, and interestingly, as we were making our way toward them to introduce ourselves, they were making their way over to us to do the same.  Somehow they’d make the connection too.  Apparently he joined the Knights at the same time Mr. Tldz did.  Anyway, it was pretty neat.

We had a lazy Easter Sunday morning and a really nice breakfast.  Then we went over to Uncle R.’s for lunch.  Agent Murphy played outside with Miss L. and collected a bucket full of leaves and generally had a good time.  We came home and had our own Easter fixings (most of which had been made earlier in the week) out on the deck for dinner.

He is risen!  Alleluia!  Alleluia!

Finally, we’re having nice weather.  This afternoon Agent Murphy and I took his bubble bucket out on the deck and blew bubbles for a while.  If this weather keeps up, we’ll be needing more bubble juice soon!

So on the way home from the grocery store this morning they played a clip on the radio from some recent congressional hearings apparently about the military’s plans to station 5,000 additional marines and their families on the island of Guam.  The exchange was between an admiral and Congressman Hank Johnson, our former representative, and went something like this:

Congressman (spoken ponderously and ploddingly, as one would who was trying to sound erudite):  It’s my understanding that at its widest level Guam is 12 miles from shore to shore and at its smallest location it is 7 miles from one shore to the other shore.  Is that correct?

Admiral: I don’t have the exact dimension, but to your point, Guam is a small island, yes.

Congressman: My concern is that the island will become overpopulated and tip over and capsize.

Admiral: We don’t anticipate that.

I guess just about anybody is better than Cynthia McKinney, whom he replaced, but good grief.  This guy really draws a Congressional salary?  Thank goodness we moved out of that district and have a sane representative now!